Posts Tagged ‘Wellington’
How our childhood can negatively affect our adult relationships
I delve deeper into understanding how traumatic childhood experiences can affect your relationships in later life. From who you find attractive to how you deal with conflict and show affection, your childhood environment can affect the relationships you make as an adult.Read More
How to know when to end a relationship
Falling in love is easy, staying in love is a challenge, letting go is hard, and moving on is the hardest. – unknown Deciding to end a relationship can be an emotionally painful experience and rarely taken likely, especially if the couple has children or beloved pets to consider. However, staying in an unhealthy relationship…Read More
Creating a balance of power in a relationship
If you were asked to describe the balance of power in your relationship, do thoughts of “Lord and Master” or “She who must be obeyed” spring to mind? Or would you answer ours is a relationship of equality, my partner is the yin to my yang, and we work in harmony – always. If you…Read More
Creating a New Year resolution together
Congratulations, you survived the sometimes stressful yuletide holiday intact. I hope you have been able to take a day or two to recover from the temporary changes to your daily routines and associations. If not, I do hope you get to take a break soon to unwind and recharge before your usual commitments of work,…Read More
Resentment in a relationship – aka hurting you, hurting me.
In my practice, I primarily use Gottman’s relationship tools and talk therapy to help couples navigate the ups and downs of living a life in partnership. In particular, I use their metaphor of the four horse-riders of the apocalypse to describe the actions primarily responsible for the demise of a relationship. In Gottman’s parable, the…Read More
When depression affects your relationship – setting the course to recovery
We all have our bad days when our lives feel out of control, and you wonder what’s the point. In fact, a recent study by the New Zealand Mental Health Foundation revealed that in 2020, 25% of New Zealanders reported feeling like they had “poor levels of mental and emotional wellbeing”. If you are in a relationship, this feeling may be fleeting as your partner says or does something to let you know that you are not alone, and they are here to support you whilst you find your feet again.Read More
What is “The Gottman Method?”
When you think about couple’s counseling, does it involve the following scenarios? You spend sixty minutes talking about how it was great in the beginning but now [insert long list of complaints], while the therapist nods their head. They then suggest a weekly appointment for the next six months. Your partner spends the entire session…Read More
Practical steps to heal from an affair
Working through an affair is tough. It takes tremendous energy and vulnerability on both sides. Drs. John and Julie Gottman have developed the Trust Revival Method, with three defined stages of treatment: Atonement, Attunement, and Attachment. The effectiveness of this model is being studied in a randomized clinical trial. I’ve watched hundreds of couples try…Read More
Do you have problems meeting new dating partners?
Do you have problems meeting new dating partners? The 5-second rule can help you! I was recently searching on Amazon for some of the top-rating non-fiction books and stumbled across the book by Mel Robbins called, The 5 Second Rule: Transform Your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage. I then discovered Mel’s TEDx talk, viewed over…Read More
Do you feel your life is so crazy and busy its effect your relationship?
If so, you’re not alone. I’ve observed recently in my Wellington counselling practice I’ve been working with many couples that say to me they are so busy they don’t have time for their relationship. It seems crazy we live in a world now where spending quality time with your husband or partner seems to be such…Read More