How to know when to end a relationship

Falling in love is easy, staying in love is a challenge, letting go is hard, and moving on is the hardest. – unknown Deciding to end a relationship can be an emotionally painful experience and rarely taken likely, especially if the couple has children or beloved pets to consider. However, staying in an unhealthy relationship…

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Creating a balance of power in a relationship

If you were asked to describe the balance of power in your relationship, do thoughts of “Lord and Master” or “She who must be obeyed” spring to mind? Or would you answer ours is a relationship of equality, my partner is the yin to my yang, and we work in harmony – always. If you…

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Creating a New Year resolution together

Congratulations, you survived the sometimes stressful yuletide holiday intact. I hope you have been able to take a day or two to recover from the temporary changes to your daily routines and associations. If not, I do hope you get to take a break soon to unwind and recharge before your usual commitments of work,…

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Resentment in a relationship – aka hurting you, hurting me.

In my practice, I primarily use Gottman’s relationship tools and talk therapy to help couples navigate the ups and downs of living a life in partnership. In particular, I use their metaphor of the four horse-riders of the apocalypse to describe the actions primarily responsible for the demise of a relationship. In Gottman’s parable, the…

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“Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”

Words penned by the psychologist Carl Jung in a letter to a Fanny Bowditch in 1916, replying to her request for clarification on a relationship. Had it been written this century, I am sure she may well have replied with – Umm, thanks, Yoda, but what the flip does that mean? I just asked you…

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When depression affects your relationship – setting the course to recovery

We all have our bad days when our lives feel out of control, and you wonder what’s the point. In fact, a recent study by the New Zealand Mental Health Foundation revealed that in 2020, 25% of New Zealanders reported feeling like they had “poor levels of mental and emotional wellbeing”. If you are in a relationship, this feeling may be fleeting as your partner says or does something to let you know that you are not alone, and they are here to support you whilst you find your feet again.

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10 Tips for Online Dating

Currently, however, over 380,000 kiwis have a profile on Tinder alone.
So why do singletons prefer searching for a date online, when there are far more hard luck stories than successful ones?

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