Posts Tagged ‘couples’
How our childhood can negatively affect our adult relationships
I delve deeper into understanding how traumatic childhood experiences can affect your relationships in later life. From who you find attractive to how you deal with conflict and show affection, your childhood environment can affect the relationships you make as an adult.
Read MoreHow to know when to end a relationship
Falling in love is easy, staying in love is a challenge, letting go is hard, and moving on is the hardest. – unknown Deciding to end a relationship can be an emotionally painful experience and rarely taken likely, especially if the couple has children or beloved pets to consider. However, staying in an unhealthy relationship…
Read MoreCreating a balance of power in a relationship
If you were asked to describe the balance of power in your relationship, do thoughts of “Lord and Master” or “She who must be obeyed” spring to mind? Or would you answer ours is a relationship of equality, my partner is the yin to my yang, and we work in harmony – always. If you…
Read MoreCreating a New Year resolution together
Congratulations, you survived the sometimes stressful yuletide holiday intact. I hope you have been able to take a day or two to recover from the temporary changes to your daily routines and associations. If not, I do hope you get to take a break soon to unwind and recharge before your usual commitments of work,…
Read MoreResentment in a relationship – aka hurting you, hurting me.
In my practice, I primarily use Gottman’s relationship tools and talk therapy to help couples navigate the ups and downs of living a life in partnership. In particular, I use their metaphor of the four horse-riders of the apocalypse to describe the actions primarily responsible for the demise of a relationship. In Gottman’s parable, the…
Read MoreWhen depression affects your relationship – setting the course to recovery
We all have our bad days when our lives feel out of control, and you wonder what’s the point. In fact, a recent study by the New Zealand Mental Health Foundation revealed that in 2020, 25% of New Zealanders reported feeling like they had “poor levels of mental and emotional wellbeing”. If you are in a relationship, this feeling may be fleeting as your partner says or does something to let you know that you are not alone, and they are here to support you whilst you find your feet again.
Read MoreHow do I talk to my partner about porn?
So, this months blog is dedicated to talking about porn and how not to let it destroy that good thing you’ve got going on.
Read MoreWhat is “The Gottman Method?”
When you think about couple’s counseling, does it involve the following scenarios? You spend sixty minutes talking about how it was great in the beginning but now [insert long list of complaints], while the therapist nods their head. They then suggest a weekly appointment for the next six months. Your partner spends the entire session…
Read MorePractical steps to heal from an affair
Working through an affair is tough. It takes tremendous energy and vulnerability on both sides. Drs. John and Julie Gottman have developed the Trust Revival Method, with three defined stages of treatment: Atonement, Attunement, and Attachment. The effectiveness of this model is being studied in a randomized clinical trial. I’ve watched hundreds of couples try…
Read More6 Tips to Overcome Conflicts in Relationships and Grow Together.
Handling conflict is one of the biggest challenges of achieving a healthy relationship. Balancing the power and respect for each other’s autonomy are things that will challenge us. It’s clear that relationship conflict happens because expectations aren’t being met. Each person comes into a relationship with their own expectations which are based from…
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