“Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”

Words penned by the psychologist Carl Jung in a letter to a Fanny Bowditch in 1916, replying to her request for clarification on a relationship. Had it been written this century, I am sure she may well have replied with – Umm, thanks, Yoda, but what the flip does that mean? I just asked you…

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When depression affects your relationship – setting the course to recovery

We all have our bad days when our lives feel out of control, and you wonder what’s the point. In fact, a recent study by the New Zealand Mental Health Foundation revealed that in 2020, 25% of New Zealanders reported feeling like they had “poor levels of mental and emotional wellbeing”. If you are in a relationship, this feeling may be fleeting as your partner says or does something to let you know that you are not alone, and they are here to support you whilst you find your feet again.

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10 Tips for Online Dating

Currently, however, over 380,000 kiwis have a profile on Tinder alone.
So why do singletons prefer searching for a date online, when there are far more hard luck stories than successful ones?

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5 Tips for reviving intimacy in your relationship

It is perfectly normal for relationships to experience periods of low libidos and a heightened awareness of the differences between you and your partner’s habits. Problems arise, however, when those periods get so long that you can’t remember the last time you were intimate together.

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Cyber-Cheating Can Threaten Your Relationship

There’s never been a time in history where you can lay in bed next to your partner and cheat. The use of smartphones, Facebook and Instagram has opened a whole new world of possibilities for cheating. What is and isn’t cheating in a relationship needs to be defined by the people in that relationship. For…

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Practical steps to heal from an affair

Working through an affair is tough. It takes tremendous energy and vulnerability on both sides. Drs. John and Julie Gottman have developed the Trust Revival Method, with three defined stages of treatment: Atonement, Attunement, and Attachment. The effectiveness of this model is being studied in a randomized clinical trial. I’ve watched hundreds of couples try…

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Don’t trust each other! What do you do?

Many of the couples that I work with in my practice have feelings of mistrust when it comes to facing day to day challenges. In The Science of Trust, Gottman explores the milestones that all relationships go through especially in the early phases. Gottman states that most of the issues have to do with trust.…

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