A new year, a new you – but what about us?

 Making New Year’s resolutions is an age-old tradition popular in many cultures.  Most often, these resolutions are considered a solo adventure.  In part, thanks to the heavy dose of marketing by companies such as gyms and weight loss systems for self-improvement, but also because resolutions are so much easier to break when they only affect…

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Creating a balance of power in a relationship

If you were asked to describe the balance of power in your relationship, do thoughts of “Lord and Master” or “She who must be obeyed” spring to mind? Or would you answer ours is a relationship of equality, my partner is the yin to my yang, and we work in harmony – always. If you…

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Resentment in a relationship – aka hurting you, hurting me.

In my practice, I primarily use Gottman’s relationship tools and talk therapy to help couples navigate the ups and downs of living a life in partnership. In particular, I use their metaphor of the four horse-riders of the apocalypse to describe the actions primarily responsible for the demise of a relationship. In Gottman’s parable, the…

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What is “The Gottman Method?”

When you think about couple’s counseling, does it involve the following scenarios? You spend sixty minutes talking about how it was great in the beginning but now [insert long list of complaints], while the therapist nods their head. They then suggest a weekly appointment for the next six months. Your partner spends the entire session…

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3 Ways to grow self-trust

Quoted from The Courage to Trust: A Guide to Building Deep and Lasting Relationships,   “The person you need to trust first is yourself. No one can be as consistently supportive of you as you can learn to be. Being kind to yourself increases self-confidence and lessens your need for approval. Loving and caring for…

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Invest in Your Relationship: The Emotional Bank Account

While the science behind what drives couples to lose their emotional connection can be quite complex, we use a simple concept that can help couples reconnect: The Emotional Bank Account.

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Why are relationships so hard? A TEDX Talk By Stan Tatkin

If you have ever been a relationship you know they are hard. But what if it’s not you or them or sex, money or even who picks up the pant and socks off the floor. What if there is a far more primitive reason? In this talk, relationship expert Stan Tatkin explores why we fight…

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Commitment Issues?

    People with commitment issues may agree to a long-term relationship at first and then begin to slowly retreat from the relationship months, weeks, or even days later. Some individuals may move from one intense relationship to another with little understanding of what went wrong in previous relationships. Others may not desire the emotional entanglement that typically occurs…

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