A new year, a new you – but what about us?
Making New Year’s resolutions is an age-old tradition popular in many cultures. Most often, these resolutions are considered a solo adventure. In part, thanks to the heavy dose of marketing by companies such as gyms and weight loss systems for self-improvement, but also because resolutions are so much easier to break when they only affect…Read More
Are you a people pleaser or a pleasing person?
Pleasing your partner is a loving thing to do, but it can create problems in your relationship.Read More
Creating a balance of power in a relationship
If you were asked to describe the balance of power in your relationship, do thoughts of “Lord and Master” or “She who must be obeyed” spring to mind? Or would you answer ours is a relationship of equality, my partner is the yin to my yang, and we work in harmony – always. If you…Read More
Resentment in a relationship – aka hurting you, hurting me.
In my practice, I primarily use Gottman’s relationship tools and talk therapy to help couples navigate the ups and downs of living a life in partnership. In particular, I use their metaphor of the four horse-riders of the apocalypse to describe the actions primarily responsible for the demise of a relationship. In Gottman’s parable, the…Read More
How do I talk to my partner about porn?
So, this months blog is dedicated to talking about porn and how not to let it destroy that good thing you’ve got going on.Read More
What is “The Gottman Method?”
When you think about couple’s counseling, does it involve the following scenarios? You spend sixty minutes talking about how it was great in the beginning but now [insert long list of complaints], while the therapist nods their head. They then suggest a weekly appointment for the next six months. Your partner spends the entire session…Read More
3 Ways to grow self-trust
Quoted from The Courage to Trust: A Guide to Building Deep and Lasting Relationships, “The person you need to trust first is yourself. No one can be as consistently supportive of you as you can learn to be. Being kind to yourself increases self-confidence and lessens your need for approval. Loving and caring for…Read More
Invest in Your Relationship: The Emotional Bank Account
While the science behind what drives couples to lose their emotional connection can be quite complex, we use a simple concept that can help couples reconnect: The Emotional Bank Account.Read More
Why are relationships so hard? A TEDX Talk By Stan Tatkin
If you have ever been a relationship you know they are hard. But what if it’s not you or them or sex, money or even who picks up the pant and socks off the floor. What if there is a far more primitive reason? In this talk, relationship expert Stan Tatkin explores why we fight…Read More
People with commitment issues may agree to a long-term relationship at first and then begin to slowly retreat from the relationship months, weeks, or even days later. Some individuals may move from one intense relationship to another with little understanding of what went wrong in previous relationships. Others may not desire the emotional entanglement that typically occurs…Read More