How our childhood can negatively affect our adult relationships
I delve deeper into understanding how traumatic childhood experiences can affect your relationships in later life. From who you find attractive to how you deal with conflict and show affection, your childhood environment can affect the relationships you make as an adult.
Read MoreHow to know when to end a relationship
Falling in love is easy, staying in love is a challenge, letting go is hard, and moving on is the hardest. – unknown Deciding to end a relationship can be an emotionally painful experience and rarely taken likely, especially if the couple has children or beloved pets to consider. However, staying in an unhealthy relationship…
Read MoreCreating a balance of power in a relationship
If you were asked to describe the balance of power in your relationship, do thoughts of “Lord and Master” or “She who must be obeyed” spring to mind? Or would you answer ours is a relationship of equality, my partner is the yin to my yang, and we work in harmony – always. If you…
Read MoreCreating a New Year resolution together
Congratulations, you survived the sometimes stressful yuletide holiday intact. I hope you have been able to take a day or two to recover from the temporary changes to your daily routines and associations. If not, I do hope you get to take a break soon to unwind and recharge before your usual commitments of work,…
Read MoreResentment in a relationship – aka hurting you, hurting me.
In my practice, I primarily use Gottman’s relationship tools and talk therapy to help couples navigate the ups and downs of living a life in partnership. In particular, I use their metaphor of the four horse-riders of the apocalypse to describe the actions primarily responsible for the demise of a relationship. In Gottman’s parable, the…
Read Morewhy do women disconnect from intimacy?
Shared intimacy is one of the cornerstones of a healthy relationship, whether it be a sexual or emotional connection. So if it feels like it no longer exists in your partnership, you need to pay attention and figure out why and how to get it back if you want to stay together. I recently posted…
Read MoreIf you really want to change your behavior, you can.
Do you nod your head in agreement with this statement, or do you shake your head and say no way, I am who I am, take it or leave it? Note, this is not a pop quiz, and there is no right or wrong answer, although it might be affecting your relationship if the answer…
Read More7 Tips – To reduce your Christmas holiday Relationship stress
Why is it that a #Christmas that is supposed to celebrate peace and goodwill to all often ends in tears and frustration?
Read More8 tips on how to breathe life back into your relationship
Separation can be messy, especially if one of you is still in love with the other. So before you start severing ties, here are some tips on how to breathe life back into your relationship and rekindle the love you once had.
Read More“Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”
Words penned by the psychologist Carl Jung in a letter to a Fanny Bowditch in 1916, replying to her request for clarification on a relationship. Had it been written this century, I am sure she may well have replied with – Umm, thanks, Yoda, but what the flip does that mean? I just asked you…
Read MoreWhen depression affects your relationship – setting the course to recovery
We all have our bad days when our lives feel out of control, and you wonder what’s the point. In fact, a recent study by the New Zealand Mental Health Foundation revealed that in 2020, 25% of New Zealanders reported feeling like they had “poor levels of mental and emotional wellbeing”. If you are in a relationship, this feeling may be fleeting as your partner says or does something to let you know that you are not alone, and they are here to support you whilst you find your feet again.
Read MoreCalling time on your marriage post COVID19
Since Covid-19 came into our lives, however, an increasing number of middle-aged women have told me that they are seriously thinking about ending their long-term relationship.
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