A couple’s guide to handling holiday conflict

A couple’s guide to handling holiday conflict

Have yourself a merry little Christmas. Let your heart be light. From now on, your troubles will be out of sight. Initially composed in 1943 for the film Meet Me in St Louis, the song was sung by Judy Garland as a lyrical reply to a little girl’s misgivings about moving to another city before…

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How to know when to end a relationship

Falling in love is easy, staying in love is a challenge, letting go is hard, and moving on is the hardest. – unknown Deciding to end a relationship can be an emotionally painful experience and rarely taken likely, especially if the couple has children or beloved pets to consider. However, staying in an unhealthy relationship…

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Creating a balance of power in a relationship

If you were asked to describe the balance of power in your relationship, do thoughts of “Lord and Master” or “She who must be obeyed” spring to mind? Or would you answer ours is a relationship of equality, my partner is the yin to my yang, and we work in harmony – always. If you…

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Creating a New Year resolution together

Congratulations, you survived the sometimes stressful yuletide holiday intact. I hope you have been able to take a day or two to recover from the temporary changes to your daily routines and associations. If not, I do hope you get to take a break soon to unwind and recharge before your usual commitments of work,…

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Resentment in a relationship – aka hurting you, hurting me.

In my practice, I primarily use Gottman’s relationship tools and talk therapy to help couples navigate the ups and downs of living a life in partnership. In particular, I use their metaphor of the four horse-riders of the apocalypse to describe the actions primarily responsible for the demise of a relationship. In Gottman’s parable, the…

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why do women disconnect from intimacy?

Shared intimacy is one of the cornerstones of a healthy relationship, whether it be a sexual or emotional connection. So if it feels like it no longer exists in your partnership, you need to pay attention and figure out why and how to get it back if you want to stay together. I recently posted…

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If you really want to change your behavior, you can.

Do you nod your head in agreement with this statement, or do you shake your head and say no way, I am who I am, take it or leave it? Note, this is not a pop quiz, and there is no right or wrong answer, although it might be affecting your relationship if the answer…

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“Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”

Words penned by the psychologist Carl Jung in a letter to a Fanny Bowditch in 1916, replying to her request for clarification on a relationship. Had it been written this century, I am sure she may well have replied with – Umm, thanks, Yoda, but what the flip does that mean? I just asked you…

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