Posts by Ann Jay
A new year, a new you – but what about us?
Making New Year’s resolutions is an age-old tradition popular in many cultures. Most often, these resolutions are considered a solo adventure. In part, thanks to the heavy dose of marketing by companies such as gyms and weight loss systems for self-improvement, but also because resolutions are so much easier to break when they only affect…
Read MoreA couple’s guide to handling holiday conflict
Have yourself a merry little Christmas. Let your heart be light. From now on, your troubles will be out of sight. Initially composed in 1943 for the film Meet Me in St Louis, the song was sung by Judy Garland as a lyrical reply to a little girl’s misgivings about moving to another city before…
Read MoreAre you a people pleaser or a pleasing person?
Pleasing your partner is a loving thing to do, but it can create problems in your relationship.
Read MoreHow our childhood can negatively affect our adult relationships
I delve deeper into understanding how traumatic childhood experiences can affect your relationships in later life. From who you find attractive to how you deal with conflict and show affection, your childhood environment can affect the relationships you make as an adult.
Read MoreHow to know when to end a relationship
Falling in love is easy, staying in love is a challenge, letting go is hard, and moving on is the hardest. – unknown Deciding to end a relationship can be an emotionally painful experience and rarely taken likely, especially if the couple has children or beloved pets to consider. However, staying in an unhealthy relationship…
Read MoreCreating a balance of power in a relationship
If you were asked to describe the balance of power in your relationship, do thoughts of “Lord and Master” or “She who must be obeyed” spring to mind? Or would you answer ours is a relationship of equality, my partner is the yin to my yang, and we work in harmony – always. If you…
Read MoreCreating a New Year resolution together
Congratulations, you survived the sometimes stressful yuletide holiday intact. I hope you have been able to take a day or two to recover from the temporary changes to your daily routines and associations. If not, I do hope you get to take a break soon to unwind and recharge before your usual commitments of work,…
Read MoreResentment in a relationship – aka hurting you, hurting me.
In my practice, I primarily use Gottman’s relationship tools and talk therapy to help couples navigate the ups and downs of living a life in partnership. In particular, I use their metaphor of the four horse-riders of the apocalypse to describe the actions primarily responsible for the demise of a relationship. In Gottman’s parable, the…
Read Morewhy do women disconnect from intimacy?
Shared intimacy is one of the cornerstones of a healthy relationship, whether it be a sexual or emotional connection. So if it feels like it no longer exists in your partnership, you need to pay attention and figure out why and how to get it back if you want to stay together. I recently posted…
Read MoreIf you really want to change your behavior, you can.
Do you nod your head in agreement with this statement, or do you shake your head and say no way, I am who I am, take it or leave it? Note, this is not a pop quiz, and there is no right or wrong answer, although it might be affecting your relationship if the answer…
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