Do you have problems meeting new dating partners?

Do you have problems meeting new dating partners? 

The 5-second rule can help you!

I was recently searching on Amazon for some of the top-rating non-fiction books and stumbled across the book by Mel Robbins called, The 5 Second Rule: Transform Your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage. I then discovered Mel’s TEDx talk, viewed over 12 million times, How to stop Screwing Yourself Over.

While this was not the typical relationship advice and self-help information, I’m usually interested in watching.

 I watched her video with curiosity and realised this was fantastic advice for anyone desperate and dateless and having problems meeting people.

You see, there’s a reason why her TEDx talk has been so wildly popular and why her book has been top of the Amazon charts. Is that, Mel has a straightforward tool for taking action in your life. She calls it the 5-second rule.

What is the 5-second rule?

The 5-second rule works on, that if you want to create change in your life and you know that behavioural changes will help you bring about what you want.

Then, you need to act within five seconds physically. 

Simple, isn’t it?

Well, this isn’t a “Just Do It” approach. 

The 5-second rule works like this:

 If you have an impulse to act on a goal, then you must physically move within 5 seconds.

 Or your brain will kill the idea, which stops you putting on your natural ‘handbrake’ of resisting taking action. 

Which then leads to you feeling stuck and NOT reaching your goals.

If you’re single and having trouble meeting people, there are endless tips, advice, strategies.

And all sorts of free information online about how to meet new people and start dating. 

But in my experience, many people get stuck at the point of taking action.

Taking action as a single might include:

  • moving out of your comfort zone by going to events
  • walking across a bar to introduce yourself to someone
  • join meet up groups
  • being extra friendly to someone you meet while shopping, or

When you’re using the 5-second rule, you’re not overthinking about the pros and cons of going to an event; you RSVP within 5 seconds. If you see an attractive stranger at a bar that keeps catching your eye, you take that first step towards them within 5-seconds of having the impulse to introduce yourself. 

It’s a simple strategy, and I love the fact it’s so easy to remember and something you can employ right now.

I believe the 5-second rule can make a difference in your life and your relationship status.

If you’re interested in finding out more, watch the video below of Mel Robbins explaining the theory and try out the 5-second rule for yourself.

Click the play button below to watch Mel Robbin’s TEDx talk.


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If something in this blog has brought up some issues for you, book a free inquiry call with Ann Jay.

Ann Jay

Ann Jay is a Wellington Relationship Counselor who provides marriage counselling, couple's counselling, and relationship coaching for couples and women either in a relationship or single. Her goal is to help people create healthy, loving and fulfilling relationships and experience the love they deserve.