Creating fulfilling, loving relationships
for singles and couples.

Archive for May, 2016

Make your relationship a priority and your kids benefit..

Friday, May 27th, 2016

 

If there is one thing that can throw a curve ball into your relationship, its kids..

Don’t get me wrong, kids are a great blessing and a great source of fun and laughter..
With kids around the house, no matter what their ages are, life get more complicated and busy!

So regardless where you find yourself currently, if you work on making your relationship a priority, your kids, what ever age they will reap the benefits.

Here’s a few ideas that may help.
1. Steal moments together- If you kids are young, its often difficult to find time to connect. Take advantage of bed time routines. Make it priority to sit together and have short discussions after they go to bed. Look for moments throughout your day, you’ll likely find there are more opportunities than you thought.

2. Give up the TV and internet once a week. Try it for one day a week
It will be amazing to see the positive effect, just by making a commitment once a week to priorities your relationship.

3. Declutter. If you want to give your relationship a boost, de-clutter the master bedroom.. Nothing kills a romantic moment when you are making your way to the bed, to only trip over piles of books, magazines and clothes on the floor. Spend some time this week making it a romantic haven.. The rest of the house can wait!

4. Go on dates. Ask family, friends or a responsible teenager. It may take some planning, but its worth the investment
.
5. Family time. Having family time is a good way creating lasting bonds for your relationship and family.

A growing trend that couples are just too tired for sex. How to revive your sex life.

Wednesday, May 25th, 2016

A growing trend that couples are just too tired for sex. How to revive your sex life. (2)

There is a growing trend that most couples in long term relationships are too tired for sex.

There are many reasons for this, including physical and emotional stress from our ever increasing busy schedules, leaving less relationship and family time and our insatiable desire to be connected with others via technology.

While it’s quite common to have a reduced frequency in sex after a few years of being in a long term relationship, sex continuously plays an important part in any relationship.

Sex is important on many levels because:

  • It increases your self-esteem and overall well-being
  • It re-establishes your relationship bond very time you have sex.
  • It helps you to feel safe and secure.
  • It’s a natural mood enhancer and antidepressant
  • It allows you to relax, open up and confidentially trust your partner.

How you revive your sex life with your partner

There’s no rule on how often couples should be having sex. It’s about talking and working out together what’s going work for you both and your lifestyle.

Some couples are fine with once a week, others once a month and others need more frequent intimacy.

John Gottman PHD, famous couple’s researcher says “every positive thing you do in your relationship is foreplay”, so if you can be more aware and develop this mind-set, then this may help you prepare the ground for more opportunities for sex.

  • Attempt to go to bed at the same time and get out of bed at the same time, so you’re on the same schedule.
  • If you can’t go to bed together, go tuck in the other partner in- this is a good opportunity to increase connection.
  • Leave the technology out of the bedroom.
  • Schedule non-sexual touching, cuddling and talk about what’s going on in your life.
  • Do positive things for your partner without asking, so there is more time for the two of you.

Even when life is so busy and demanding, it’s really important to plan in ‘connection time’. This very important connection time is often pre- cursor to having more sex, because it increases your connection and increases your sense of safety and care in the relationship.

 

If you feel you and your partner need help with your relationship, contact :Ann Jay  Relationship Wellbeing Specialist on 021 26 89 842 or email annjaynz@gmail.com

  • FREE 15-minute phone consultation ..
  • Based in the Wellington area..