Creating fulfilling, loving relationships
for singles and couples.

Archive for September, 2015

8 Tips to Create a More Loving Relationship

Thursday, September 24th, 2015

girl with flower

8 Tips to Create a More Loving Relationship

Your relationship with your partner has the potential to be the most fulfilling experience in your life. However, there are snags that can happen at every step of the way. No one ever said that relationships were easy!
The good news is that if you stay proactive, you can foster a loving relationship no  matter how many weeks or years you’ve been together. When you create a more loving
relationship, you make both you and your partner happy.

You won’t find much better than that!
Here are some tips for creating a more loving relationship:
1. Show your gratitude.

If you love your partner very much, than you’re obviously grateful for them.

However, you need to learn to express your inner feelings.

Your partner needs to know that you’re grateful.

It shouldn’t be something that goes unsaid.

You can show gratitude by being more open in your conversations or by taking loving
actions by buying gifts or suggesting ideas for quality time. Also, remember the words:
“Thank you!”
2. Incorporate more fun into the relationship.

You two may have separate ideas of what fun is, but try doing things together that you both enjoy. It doesn’t have to be anything big and extravagant, just try to find something simple, yet exciting.

The key is to do something where you both won’t know exactly what to expect. This
adds that “special spice” to the relationship and helps stave off boredom.
3. Go out of your way.

Yes, going out of your way for your partner may take some extra work, but it’ll be worth it!

Decide to make a grand gesture for your partner. Do this out of the blue and your partner will really see that you care.
For example, you could throw them a party or take care of something that you know
they don’t like doing.
4. Do activities they want to do.

By making the sacrifice  to do something you’re not all that interested in, it’ll make your partner feel loved and  honored. Of course, there’ll be interests you share, but make it a point to join in for  an activity they really enjoy more than you do.

If your partner has always wanted to go ballroom dancing  with you, perhaps it’s time to
bite the bullet and go through with it.
5. Keep their needs in mind.

As the years go by, it’s so easy to fall into patterns and restricted comfort zones, but you mustn’t forget about your partner’s needs.

If they enjoy an extra hug every once in awhile, go give them a hug.
If they like to talk about feelings and plans, sit with them and talk.
6. Say: “I love you” regularly.

It seems that you can never say these three simple words enough.

Say it, text it, email it, record it, show it. Do what you have to just to remind your partner of your true feelings.

This little phrase actually helps communication, lightens the mood, and fosters a more loving relationship for many years to come.
7. Listen actively.

While it’s important to express your own feelings, it’s also critical that you truly listen to your partner’s feelings. When you actively listen, you’ll begin to understand your partner in a new, deeper way.

They’ll also feel loved because they’ll see you being attentive and they’ll feel like their thoughts and feelings matter.
8. Support their ideas.

When you agree with your partner’s ideas, make sure that you fully support them in both words and actions.

This feeling of support will help your partner feel loved. When you don’t agree with your partner,  it’s still important to remain loving. Don’t shoot down your partner’s ideas or become overly critical. Accept what they’re saying and suggest alternative ideas if needed.
Follow these tips, encourage your partner to do the same, and you can’t help but have a
more joyous, loving relationship!

Amy Webb: How I hacked online dating

Monday, September 14th, 2015

Published on 2 Oct 2013

Amy Webb was having no luck with online dating. The dates she liked didn’t write her back, and her own profile attracted crickets (and worse). So, as any fan of data would do: she started making a spreadsheet. Hear the story of how she went on to hack her online dating life — with frustrating, funny and life-changing results.

10 Signs of a Overeager Relationship Pleaser…

Wednesday, September 9th, 2015

young woman hiding her true emotions in the smile. concept photo

Who is a people pleaser?

An overeager people pleaser is a person who gives a lot of importance to pleasing others. And in the process, their main intention is to be liked and valued in return by the people they try to please.

A people pleaser is never a bad person.

They’re not really manipulative, nor are they cheaters. But in their keen pursuit of trying to please everyone around them.

Now everyone has a tinge of people pleasing in them.

Almost all of us try to please someone, in the hope of getting a favour back in return from them someday.

But for most of us, we know where to draw the line.

But a chronic pleaser has no gauge to where the boundaries of pleasing others should stop.

Think about these signs with an open mind, and ask yourself if you can relate to them.

  1. You always have a smile.You never get angry with your friends, colleagues or new relationship, even if they do something that’s extremely upsetting. Instead, you force all that rage within yourself in the form of implosive anger.
  2. The opinion of others.The opinion of other people matters a lot to you and your own decision making. You make your decisions based on other people’s desires. You ask all your friends to share their opinions with you, and you give more thought to what they say than what you believe is right.
  3. You crave for compliments.You’re very liberal with your compliments in the hope of getting a compliment back from your partner, friends and colleagues.
  4. You like attention all the time.You fear losing relationships, friendships and you care too much about being liked by everyone. And you can’t ever imagine being hated by others or being lonely.
  5. You hurt easily.You get hurt very easily when your partner or friends goes somewhere without involving you. You want to feel loved all the time, and you can’t stand it when someone thinks you’re not important in their life.
  6. The big sacrifices.You sacrifice your own happiness just to please someone else and win their approval, or to get a compliment from them.
  7. You can’t take criticism.A people pleaser will change their behaviour, but they will never accept that they’re flawed because it makes them lose their self-esteem even more.
  8. You’re a storyteller,even though you will never admit it. You’re not honest about who you are. You’re not honest to yourself about your own likes and dislikes. Your beliefs and values change all the time, just as long as they match that of your new relationship or friendships whom you’re trying to impress.
  9. You hate confrontation.You spend several sleepless nights over the smallest argument with a new relationship or friendship. And you do whatever it takes to make up for it, even if it’s not your fault. But you wouldn’t do the same for the people you’ve already taken for granted.
  10. You give too much too soon.And many a times, people take you for granted. You try too hard to please your new partner or friend, and you do whatever it takes to ensure that they have a good opinion about you. But almost always, these new partner or friends may end up using you and taking advantage of your niceness.

Although the intent of people-pleasing is to nurture love and connection, over the long term these behaviours can have a negative impact on friendships, loved ones and our relationship with them. Relationships become imbalanced, yet we remain powerless to change this because of a strong drive to avoid conflict.

 

 

6 Signs couples May need to see a Relationship Coach or Therapist

Wednesday, September 9th, 2015

 

 

couple for blog

 

How do you know if the difficulties you have in your relationship are becoming severe enough that you need to seek out the help of a Relationship Coach or therapist?

The 6 signs are:

  1. You’re frequently arguing  without any positive resolutions.

 

  1. You’re feeling disconnected from your partner, alone or shut down.

 

  1. You’re totally uninspired about your sex life.

 

  1. You frequently feel insecure, anxious or jealous.

 

  1. You feel scared to be vulnerable.

 

  1. You feel stuck with the past wounds from a previous relationship.

5 Spring Relationship Tips

Wednesday, September 9th, 2015

 

 

 

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  1. Make time to connect and talk.

We all have very busy lifestyles these days, so it is easy to forget to make time to sit with our partners and just communicate. This is one of the most important foundations to being in a healthy relationship, so you need to set aside time to connect with your partner.

2. See conflict as an opportunity for your relationship to grow.

It is common for couples to see conflict as being bad for their relationship. Some conflict can be bad for a relationship if it is abusive. However, I encourage you to consider conflict as an opportunity for your relationship to grow and mature.

 

  1. Celebrate and be thankful

Practicing gratitude for all the positive aspects of your relationship. This includes appreciating the everyday small things that you acquire from being in the relationship.

 

  1. 1 + 1 = 1 = 0

One of the most common and destructive misconceptions about relationships. Particularly in long term one’s is that two individuals should become one. The main problem is that when you become one with another person you lose your sense of self.

 

  1. Practice the 3 R’s.

It is common for couple’s to communication only using 2 R’s Receive-React. One partner sends a message and the other reacts in a reactive or defensive way.

 

To break the cycle, you need to slow down the interactions. Best way is to stop reflect on the message before you respond. The 3 R’s Receive-Reflect- Respond